More old stuff

10.26.2005

...absolutely breath-taking....

...quit everything and live among the sea...only a dream i suppose...*sigh*

tonight on my way home i was in the usual state of deep thought while driving and absorbing the genuine sound of music when i looked up to the heavens just in time to witness the most beautiful thing and yet a most despairing sight--a falling star. the bright star fell half way down the darkened sky and flickered out as it came to its end. almost as if the remnants of fireworks fading away....the death of a star...one less in the sky of billions upon billions...

The music plays so profoundly in my ears. A deepening of the soul, it feels as though something in me comes alive--that which must be induced by the very sound of brilliance vibrating through the air, shimmering sweet melodies of life and love. Trinkets of golden whispers flourish as wisps through time. The incessant drone of life becomes filled with harmonious measure which serves to penetrate the heart and soul with something words cannot describe. Ode to music for its delight. How beautiful an expression God has graciously given to us all. One can most certainly hear the voice of God through the virtuous notes streaming from composers such as Beethoven and Mozart. A lingering nostalgia settles as the notes emerge and the mind begins to ponder things forgotten or brushed aside. Intricate tones resonate and the entwined rhythms flow as one. Unity encompasses the ensemble and resembles the picture of the church with
every part contributing, working together, and helping to the proper functioning of the whole body. Each person needed for the unity and overall production and existence of the whole. Within the band/orchestra exists a structure, an order, and layered leadership. The same remains within the body of Christ--order, structure, and layered leadership. Operating together, beautiful and glorifying all in one.

Friday, September 30, 2005

A surge of caffeine runs through my veins causing my hands to shake like a leaf. Neither accustomed to medicines, caffeine, nor alcohol, my body reacts with great unfamiliarity. Typically I will have no more than one coffee a month, thus when I do, it reacts with much potency. I suppose this sudden spur of energy will have a lasting effect for several hours only to be followed by an unfortunate crash. I neither enjoy the state of not being in control nor being in an unfamiliar situation. This probably applies not only to my physical being but also for other aspects of my life. So often I find myself having to surrender the comfortable and familiar--allowing the Lord to lead me and help me step beyond the zone of comfort. Not that I am referencing caffeine as something I should intake more often-- but rather the idea of "not liking the feeling of being out of control" has caused me to realize my natural tendency of remaining in a zone of complete familiarity. A disciple of Christ leads no easy life and is constantly being challenged to go forth and step out in faith. Jesus said to leave all for His sake--that is a radical thing which calls for one to most definitely walk miles beyond his comfort. Wednesday, September 28, 2005 Driving home last night the Lord gave me this vision: Living in a desert where water is a rarity and shelter from the scorching sun rays is virtually nonexistent, everyone struggles to quench his thirst...many have begun to eat sand, pouring it down, believing it to be water--a mere mirage. The sand is deadly--causing more pain and thirst anyone could imagine. Tears fill the eyes of so many. This presumably is the world. As believers, we do not need the "sand" to try and quench our thirst. The sand only makes the soul grieve with thirst and leaves man in a sickly state. Whether the sand represents drugs, alcohol, lust, "having" control, food, etc., it will NEVER satisfy. Then with a flash of light, the people in the desert see a lush oasis filled with food and water, proving to be the only place for rest and true life. The believers know this place as the very Lord Himself. He is the oasis in the desert. In this dying place He is life--He brings life. Here His children can drink and never thirst again. Here they find rest. People all around are asked to give up the "sand" and come before the Lord, empty and waiting to be filled. Revelation 16Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat. 17For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." Tuesday, September 20, 2005 Deeply provoked by an onslaught of events, the humdrum life ceased to play along, now only aspiring to the darkest of times when the human lies at its weakest. What plagues one so as to end his life—the very question I ask, I so considered in the past. Miles and years from those days, I feel the intensity of depression as it sets upon the soul as a thick, stagnate smog, suffocating any life which exists. He slowly creeps in with the lies, the loneliness, the self-pity, the guilt…you no longer resemble the one whom God created you to be. Twisted truths, deceived by clouded paradigms, glossed over with the idea that you are alone in this and deserve everything you are feeling…he has meddled with something far more precious than he could even know…he slithers in like a snake and causes even the wisest to fall. The sweetest rose he appears, only growing into a beastly sort as the victim begins to accept his coexistence. A parasite he is. Nothing good. No. Anger stirs in me, for I know that it was an untimely death. A victim to the enemy. My blood boils with fury as I curse the devil. May he burn in hell where he belongs. Confusion, guilt, lies, mockery, theft, maliciousness…all of these he is. I cry out to the Lord…a plea for the ones he so deceives. He leads them astray by the hundreds, thousands…