Caving in the dark, an adventure worth living. We all packed into the cave, quite a tight squeeze. Through crevices we make our way; crawling, falling. One by one we went, passing through like thread in a needle. Winding around and then out we come, from where we begun.
The shooting stars and beaming moonlight sends me into a peace I cannot explain. Lights from Estes stream through as lava flow, glowing red and orange. We pack into a pit and sleep for the night. Glorious. Wind rushing over the top of the mountain, sweeping over us smoothly as we lie in a sunken area. Sunrise comes quicker than imagined and we hike down at 4:45am.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Monday, June 26, 2006
When the Cold Wind Blows
When The Cold Wind Blows
by Don Chaffer and Lori Chaffer
When the cold wind blows all around
Will you still love me?
still love me
When the cold wind blows all around
Will you still love me?
When the lightning crashes
Hopes are dashed and I
Am asking how this comes to me
and why
When no home on Earth can be found
Will you still love me?
still love me
When no home on Earth can be found
Will you still love me?
When you left us last time
You said You’d return
And I’m sorry that it
takes so long to learn
That my hope is to walk forever
in the coolness of the day
Oh my hope is to walk forever
in the coolness of the day
When the cold wind blows all around
You will still love me
still love me
When the cold wind blows all around
You will still love me
by Don Chaffer and Lori Chaffer
When the cold wind blows all around
Will you still love me?
still love me
When the cold wind blows all around
Will you still love me?
When the lightning crashes
Hopes are dashed and I
Am asking how this comes to me
and why
When no home on Earth can be found
Will you still love me?
still love me
When no home on Earth can be found
Will you still love me?
When you left us last time
You said You’d return
And I’m sorry that it
takes so long to learn
That my hope is to walk forever
in the coolness of the day
Oh my hope is to walk forever
in the coolness of the day
When the cold wind blows all around
You will still love me
still love me
When the cold wind blows all around
You will still love me
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
white water tubing...one for the books
We nearly lost our lives today, seriously, all of us.It’s been a while since I’ve experienced such anadrenaline rush—one that surges through your body witha near death experience. One of that nature happensrarely, but today I was reminded of my dependence onGod as well as His people.
The water, like ice, seeped into my clothes with afrightening chill—apprehensive but excited all themore. We slowly made our way into the water, ploppinginto our tubes, only to be swept away by the forcefulcurrents.
Chrissy propped her foot out as to maneuver to theside of the rock but instead, the current propelledher into a backwards flip; somehow her sunglassesdidn’t budge from her head, quite amazing. She soonstepped out of the water to walk alongside theriver—she’d have no more of that.
Colton and I bolted to the front, somehow survivingthe rapids. Launched out of my tube I quickly reachedfor it and forced it back over my head, holding on fordear life. Never have I floated a river of thisintensity and soon I understood why. My legs beat intothe rocks, leaving a multitude of rock dents in myshins. Gasping for air in the roughest parts, waterwent into my ears and then I swallowed enough water tobe fearful of Giardia. I pulled off to the side for amoment when I saw the available lull: a two secondtime span. Colton passed me and I saw Anele in thedistance. Catching my breath, I braved the water once more andcaught up to Colton. Not long afterwards we saw twoempty tubes cruising down the river. All I could dowas hope and pray God was taking care of everyone.
In the meantime, Andy, Andrew, Swithin, Eli, andSonia found themselves in a blown-out rescue mission.Sonia clung to a rock in the middle of the river as abear hugging a tree. Sprawled out over a rock shelooked away as to not see the raging water. She fearedfor her life, praying, “Oh God, save me and I promiseI will not get back in this water!” She imagined thisrock to be Jesus. As tightly as she held on to thisrock she knew she had to hold on to Jesus just astightly and even more. Swithin was on one side of theriver while Eli and Andrew were on the other and Andywas downstream to catch Sonia in case she lost hergrip on the rock. Praise God for these men, for theythrew a rope out to Sonia—she missed a couple of timesuntil finally Swithin caught it and then gave it toSonia. They reeled her in to safety by God’s grace.
Colton and I kept cruising along. By now I wasgetting a feel for things, sitting comfortably againafter my spill. Suddenly I hear Colton yellingsomething fierce! I finally made it out to be, “Grabthe shoe! Grab the shoe!” Oh heavens, a shoe and nobody! We settled under a bridge to recoup and Coltonheld on to the lost shoe.
Little did we know, Anele was close behind us, onefoot shoeless, without contacts in her eyes, and anempty tube in both hands. We were all falling apart.
Chrissy kept chucking alongside, walking at a mildpace and looking to see if we were still alive.
Quite a ways downstream, Linda, Clint, Nikki, andAndrew braved the rapids. The current took Nikki aheadof the others and she ended up going down backwardsand then on her stomach on another rapid. She hit herhead on some of the rocks only to be followed by alast rapid which nearly drowned her as she was caughtunder the water for a time. Linda was flung from hertube and then later she got stuck in the surf waves ofa rapid, paddling with all her might to break free.Clint found himself facing skyward unexpectedly as thewaves flipped his tube vertically.
Sonia and Swithin, now on the other side of theriver, were in a predicament as they read numerousprivate property signs and beware of dog warnings…sothey ended up walking much further than planned inorder to get back with the rest of us. They evenbraved a violent cell phone man yelling at them as hepointed his phone like a gun.
Andy, Andrew R., and Eli kept floating along. Andy’stube somehow decided it would deflate itself. Being abig guy, this caused a multitude of problems,seriously. He found himself crashing into every rockpossible and with an airless tube at that. The kickerwas the final kidney punch one of the rocks gave him.Sonia described it to be wounds like the Passion ofthe Christ and Chrissy said he’d be peeing blood for aweek with a wound like that. Andrew endured severalblows as well, leaving some red welts on his chest.
Colton kept the shoe—that is until the very end. Wehit a huge waterfall and it sent him flying out of histube only to land hard on his right side. He said helanded so hard he wiggled his toes to see if he wasparalyzed or not. Praise God, they wiggled.Unfortunately, he lost the shoe in the process. Werode into the shore after that one and called itquits.
Chrissy eventually came down the dirt path andshortly following, Anele came carrying three tubes.There was a look of fright in her eyes that terrifiedus all. We didn’t know if the people were okay but atleast she saved the tubes so we could get our $5deposits back.
Andrew R. and Andy finally came and we met up withLinda, Clint, Nikki, and Andrew who had stayed back tofloat a shorter area. The funniest sight: Andy came upto us with this tiny, deflated tube, throwing it downand saying, “And I don’t know what happened to thisthing!” Then a few seconds later he gasps, “And to topit off, I just got stung by a bee!” He stomped on thebee and held out his hand to look at its alreadyswollen mark. Thankfully he was not deathly allergic.
While waiting for everyone to gather around withtheir battle wounds and bloody legs, wiping leechesoff our bodies, Anele and Eli started jumping into thewater with a rope swing. The next thing I knew, Eliwas laid out on some rocks with a crowd around her.Apparently she had fought with a rock and the rock gotthe best of her. She had a small but a deep gash inher leg that met the bone. Chrissy sacrificed herwhite tank top to wrap around Eli’s leg.
We turned in our tubes, looking like we just cameback from war and received our $5 deposits—orcompensation? I wondered if that’s all I thought mylife was worth… after all I did sign away my life fora few bucks.
Andrew drove Eli to the hospital to get stitches andthe rest of us rode home, thankful to be alive. We allhugged and praised God for keeping us alive. Truly,what an adventure! And if you asked me if I’d do it again—I’d probablysay yes. Call me stupid or cal me dumb; I like to callmyself adventurous.
Through all of this, God taught us that we need oneanother for survival, for love, for help, and forsupport. In such a self-sufficient, independentsociety, God reminded us that we cannot stand alone.We must depend on Him and be in community with people.We must hold tightly to Jesus all our lives.
As the river wound around and the rapids remainedunpredictable, and at times, violent, life itself wasrepresented. No matter how hard we paddled or foughtwe’d end up being swept away by the current. God’scourse will ultimately prevail. We can stand in thewater, but we’ll be pushed over by the white water andend up hitting rocks. If we paddle to the side we endup just staying stagnate and eventually must move onanyhow. If we try paddling against the flow of theriver we tire easily and end up hurt. Instead we musttrust blindly and hold on for the ride. God guides usas the river’s current does. We don’t always know whatis ahead but we must trust Him and move forward.
The water, like ice, seeped into my clothes with afrightening chill—apprehensive but excited all themore. We slowly made our way into the water, ploppinginto our tubes, only to be swept away by the forcefulcurrents.
Chrissy propped her foot out as to maneuver to theside of the rock but instead, the current propelledher into a backwards flip; somehow her sunglassesdidn’t budge from her head, quite amazing. She soonstepped out of the water to walk alongside theriver—she’d have no more of that.
Colton and I bolted to the front, somehow survivingthe rapids. Launched out of my tube I quickly reachedfor it and forced it back over my head, holding on fordear life. Never have I floated a river of thisintensity and soon I understood why. My legs beat intothe rocks, leaving a multitude of rock dents in myshins. Gasping for air in the roughest parts, waterwent into my ears and then I swallowed enough water tobe fearful of Giardia. I pulled off to the side for amoment when I saw the available lull: a two secondtime span. Colton passed me and I saw Anele in thedistance. Catching my breath, I braved the water once more andcaught up to Colton. Not long afterwards we saw twoempty tubes cruising down the river. All I could dowas hope and pray God was taking care of everyone.
In the meantime, Andy, Andrew, Swithin, Eli, andSonia found themselves in a blown-out rescue mission.Sonia clung to a rock in the middle of the river as abear hugging a tree. Sprawled out over a rock shelooked away as to not see the raging water. She fearedfor her life, praying, “Oh God, save me and I promiseI will not get back in this water!” She imagined thisrock to be Jesus. As tightly as she held on to thisrock she knew she had to hold on to Jesus just astightly and even more. Swithin was on one side of theriver while Eli and Andrew were on the other and Andywas downstream to catch Sonia in case she lost hergrip on the rock. Praise God for these men, for theythrew a rope out to Sonia—she missed a couple of timesuntil finally Swithin caught it and then gave it toSonia. They reeled her in to safety by God’s grace.
Colton and I kept cruising along. By now I wasgetting a feel for things, sitting comfortably againafter my spill. Suddenly I hear Colton yellingsomething fierce! I finally made it out to be, “Grabthe shoe! Grab the shoe!” Oh heavens, a shoe and nobody! We settled under a bridge to recoup and Coltonheld on to the lost shoe.
Little did we know, Anele was close behind us, onefoot shoeless, without contacts in her eyes, and anempty tube in both hands. We were all falling apart.
Chrissy kept chucking alongside, walking at a mildpace and looking to see if we were still alive.
Quite a ways downstream, Linda, Clint, Nikki, andAndrew braved the rapids. The current took Nikki aheadof the others and she ended up going down backwardsand then on her stomach on another rapid. She hit herhead on some of the rocks only to be followed by alast rapid which nearly drowned her as she was caughtunder the water for a time. Linda was flung from hertube and then later she got stuck in the surf waves ofa rapid, paddling with all her might to break free.Clint found himself facing skyward unexpectedly as thewaves flipped his tube vertically.
Sonia and Swithin, now on the other side of theriver, were in a predicament as they read numerousprivate property signs and beware of dog warnings…sothey ended up walking much further than planned inorder to get back with the rest of us. They evenbraved a violent cell phone man yelling at them as hepointed his phone like a gun.
Andy, Andrew R., and Eli kept floating along. Andy’stube somehow decided it would deflate itself. Being abig guy, this caused a multitude of problems,seriously. He found himself crashing into every rockpossible and with an airless tube at that. The kickerwas the final kidney punch one of the rocks gave him.Sonia described it to be wounds like the Passion ofthe Christ and Chrissy said he’d be peeing blood for aweek with a wound like that. Andrew endured severalblows as well, leaving some red welts on his chest.
Colton kept the shoe—that is until the very end. Wehit a huge waterfall and it sent him flying out of histube only to land hard on his right side. He said helanded so hard he wiggled his toes to see if he wasparalyzed or not. Praise God, they wiggled.Unfortunately, he lost the shoe in the process. Werode into the shore after that one and called itquits.
Chrissy eventually came down the dirt path andshortly following, Anele came carrying three tubes.There was a look of fright in her eyes that terrifiedus all. We didn’t know if the people were okay but atleast she saved the tubes so we could get our $5deposits back.
Andrew R. and Andy finally came and we met up withLinda, Clint, Nikki, and Andrew who had stayed back tofloat a shorter area. The funniest sight: Andy came upto us with this tiny, deflated tube, throwing it downand saying, “And I don’t know what happened to thisthing!” Then a few seconds later he gasps, “And to topit off, I just got stung by a bee!” He stomped on thebee and held out his hand to look at its alreadyswollen mark. Thankfully he was not deathly allergic.
While waiting for everyone to gather around withtheir battle wounds and bloody legs, wiping leechesoff our bodies, Anele and Eli started jumping into thewater with a rope swing. The next thing I knew, Eliwas laid out on some rocks with a crowd around her.Apparently she had fought with a rock and the rock gotthe best of her. She had a small but a deep gash inher leg that met the bone. Chrissy sacrificed herwhite tank top to wrap around Eli’s leg.
We turned in our tubes, looking like we just cameback from war and received our $5 deposits—orcompensation? I wondered if that’s all I thought mylife was worth… after all I did sign away my life fora few bucks.
Andrew drove Eli to the hospital to get stitches andthe rest of us rode home, thankful to be alive. We allhugged and praised God for keeping us alive. Truly,what an adventure! And if you asked me if I’d do it again—I’d probablysay yes. Call me stupid or cal me dumb; I like to callmyself adventurous.
Through all of this, God taught us that we need oneanother for survival, for love, for help, and forsupport. In such a self-sufficient, independentsociety, God reminded us that we cannot stand alone.We must depend on Him and be in community with people.We must hold tightly to Jesus all our lives.
As the river wound around and the rapids remainedunpredictable, and at times, violent, life itself wasrepresented. No matter how hard we paddled or foughtwe’d end up being swept away by the current. God’scourse will ultimately prevail. We can stand in thewater, but we’ll be pushed over by the white water andend up hitting rocks. If we paddle to the side we endup just staying stagnate and eventually must move onanyhow. If we try paddling against the flow of theriver we tire easily and end up hurt. Instead we musttrust blindly and hold on for the ride. God guides usas the river’s current does. We don’t always know whatis ahead but we must trust Him and move forward.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Early Mornings
Waking early proves a hard discipline for me; however, the rewards and intrinsic value from such a discipline are ten fold. Yesterday I woke at 5:30 for a long hike with Chelsy, Amy, and Angee. What a glorious day it was indeed.
Across the placid water lies and unshaken tree line pertruding from the ground. This wall of green pine blankets the mountain side part way up. Above the tree tops the snow covered peaks appear--rugged and alluring. As the wind picks up, the sound of lapping water meets my ears. A lone deer grazes in the meadows, coming down to the water for an early morning drink. The air, slightly chilled, seeps down to my bones--while the sun rises and begins to warm the land. Singing birds sprinkle the song of nature along with the buzzing bees and croaking frogs. Crystal clear, the lake water ripples along, the grass swaying with the current of life. Surrounded by beauty, I bask in God's creation and love. Looking to the heavens, a sky so blue with clouds paited here and there. Rocks perched out of water and along the shorline--ancient and hard pressed over time with stripes of minerals and endurance of time sealing them. Here upon this rock, overlooking the lake, I cast my fear to the sky. I jourey where no other has gone and I walk hand in hand with my Creator. O how I look upon this land with such satisfaction as how God looks upon his children with delight. A Mallard duck floats by, content with the stillness and peace of the land. He is by far the happiest duck I've ever spotted. For a moment I felt that I could be that duck gliding along the water's surface without a care in the world.
Today I woke once more to hike out to Bible Point with Chelsy. You can't beat two and a half solid hours with the Lord in the mountains as the start of your day...looks like PM shifts won't be so bad afterall.
Hiked to Bible Point, a good morning walk--just enought to break a sweat. Lord, this place speaks of your splendor. This morning I had my first elk sighting--four grand creatures grazing in the fields. Along the path I spotted the most beautiful tihng: an elk prancing through the woods as if he were royalty. His white rear end gave him away. It's like a target saying, "Here I am...in case you couldn't spot me." Lord, you are funny. Waking at 5:30 has been so refreshing. Thank you for helping to wake me.
The wind roaring all around me; thankfully I have found a cove to shelter me fromt eh balst of chilled air while I can continue looking out to the mountain range.
"I will wait in the cleft of the mountain for you to pass by. Will you come and meet with me?"
I sang this as I knew you were there, meeting with me.
The other night I sang this song with Macie and Stephen as we worshiped together, late into the night. Sitting there on the railing of the porch I staired out to the silhouetted mountains and the night sky--quite a sight. The breeze blew gently and our singing carried me away. The Lord engulfed me and for the next hour I knew there was no where else I'd rather be. Lord, you are so good to us and speak sweet-nothings in our ears--you draw us to you while you ardently pursue us. Selah.
Across the placid water lies and unshaken tree line pertruding from the ground. This wall of green pine blankets the mountain side part way up. Above the tree tops the snow covered peaks appear--rugged and alluring. As the wind picks up, the sound of lapping water meets my ears. A lone deer grazes in the meadows, coming down to the water for an early morning drink. The air, slightly chilled, seeps down to my bones--while the sun rises and begins to warm the land. Singing birds sprinkle the song of nature along with the buzzing bees and croaking frogs. Crystal clear, the lake water ripples along, the grass swaying with the current of life. Surrounded by beauty, I bask in God's creation and love. Looking to the heavens, a sky so blue with clouds paited here and there. Rocks perched out of water and along the shorline--ancient and hard pressed over time with stripes of minerals and endurance of time sealing them. Here upon this rock, overlooking the lake, I cast my fear to the sky. I jourey where no other has gone and I walk hand in hand with my Creator. O how I look upon this land with such satisfaction as how God looks upon his children with delight. A Mallard duck floats by, content with the stillness and peace of the land. He is by far the happiest duck I've ever spotted. For a moment I felt that I could be that duck gliding along the water's surface without a care in the world.
Today I woke once more to hike out to Bible Point with Chelsy. You can't beat two and a half solid hours with the Lord in the mountains as the start of your day...looks like PM shifts won't be so bad afterall.
Hiked to Bible Point, a good morning walk--just enought to break a sweat. Lord, this place speaks of your splendor. This morning I had my first elk sighting--four grand creatures grazing in the fields. Along the path I spotted the most beautiful tihng: an elk prancing through the woods as if he were royalty. His white rear end gave him away. It's like a target saying, "Here I am...in case you couldn't spot me." Lord, you are funny. Waking at 5:30 has been so refreshing. Thank you for helping to wake me.
The wind roaring all around me; thankfully I have found a cove to shelter me fromt eh balst of chilled air while I can continue looking out to the mountain range.
"I will wait in the cleft of the mountain for you to pass by. Will you come and meet with me?"
I sang this as I knew you were there, meeting with me.
The other night I sang this song with Macie and Stephen as we worshiped together, late into the night. Sitting there on the railing of the porch I staired out to the silhouetted mountains and the night sky--quite a sight. The breeze blew gently and our singing carried me away. The Lord engulfed me and for the next hour I knew there was no where else I'd rather be. Lord, you are so good to us and speak sweet-nothings in our ears--you draw us to you while you ardently pursue us. Selah.
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Mountains and Cell Phones Hate Each Other
God blows my mind, seriously. I have yet to speak of Mexico and wow did God move there.
The silhouetted mountains take me away, the darkness with a glow shimmering through the smokey sky. Snow peaks...the mysterious stream trickling down, down, down. The silence of the night...the wind comes through to cast a clearing for the brilliant stars. Away from city lights and traffic, away from cell phones and the cares of life back home--there is a freedom here like no other.
If my cell phone weren't my only means of communication with certain people, I might actually consider giving it up for this coming school year--it has been so freeing not being bound to the ring of the cell phone. Hallelujah. I realize the amazing ability we have for communication in this present day and age, but at times it can become a burden. Being here where I really have no choice but to not have cell phone service, I realize how freeing it is. 'Tis a season.
Three pairs of gloves for the dish room, hair tied back, sore feet, persperation, dish back, trash and tray, line, beverage, Pine Room, Bakery, Pondo, Reusch, Walnut, black shoes, black pants, aprons poorly washed--once black but now brown-- cutting fruit, dirty work, cleaning walls for days we're over-staffed, music in the dish room (priceless, as it's a cd with four songs that plays for eight hours, no kidding)...not to mention the internationals who are amazing and hilarious: Caline, Swithin, Natalia, Sweet, Ricki, Meet, Tayo, Danna, Olga, Amanda...
God's Favor: I've been working in Food Service and one of the days I was pulled to help out with the fancy Pine Room. The next day Susan, our boss, called me in to talk. Candy,who is head of the Pine Room, wanted me to join the crew working in Pine. I let them know I appreciated the offer but would not be able to accept because waitressing hurt my wrists too much [with on-set carpal tunnel]. About 20 minutes later Candy came back to talk with me, proposing something else: she wanted me to be a supervisor for the Pine Room. What?! I had only worked there one day! The job would give me a pay increase of $50 more a week which would give me about $450 more by the end of the summer! God completely gave me favor with the staff here; it was nothing that I did! He is slowly providing for me! It reminded me of Esther in the Bible.
God's brought me back to the fruit of joy: once again he is showing me another aspect of joy... to find joy in Him alone and not in people. He had commanded me to be joyful, "Dyanne choose to be joyful," he spoke to me in the Fall. Then the spring came and He placed people around me who poured out their joyful spirit as I was revived and allowed the fruit of joy to expand in my heart. Now, He's pulled me away from people who maybe I was finding joy in--falsly. My source of joy must come from Him. Being placed in Hague as one of five LTers caused me to struggle a little at the beginning as everyone else was either in Hallates or Howard. Slowly I have seen my need to be in Hague--God has it all worked out. Now, two weeks into work He pulls me out of the Reusch where all of the other LTers in Food Service work and has placed me in the Pine Room. This has been very challenging for me as I will have all PM shifts, my free day will be Monday when most LTers either work or have Project day, and I am working the cash register as the supervisor--the last job I wanted to do as I've been a cashier for the past three years. However, God is helping me to find joy in such things. Reading in Celebration of Discipline, Foster states that "joy is the keynote of all the disciplines."
Contentment, I have found, comes when you are able to have joy in the moment and season God has given you. Being in the spirit and having a garment of praise--even when the situation is not necessarily the most favorable. Choosing to NOT dwell on the past or worry about the future but to embrace the very moment God has granted you. A huge aspect of contentment is walking the Spirit--living in God's presence all the time. Conversing with Him daily and being in relationship with Him.
In the Pine Room I have more time to pray, to talk with customers, to reach out to a different crowd, and to grow in my leadership skills. As a supervisor I am challenged to delegate and foresee what needs to be done. In the past, I have typically not been very good at such a task--management and delegating is usually the last job I'd like to take on. God's funny and He knows what He's doing. The good news is that delegating can be an aquired skill. I realize that as a teacher and probably a multitude of other things, I will need to be skilled in delegating. Praise you, Lord, for challenging me and extending much grace!
God's been opening doors: Music is something that I hold dear to my heart and desire to be a part of, always. I have been praying for about a year now for the Lord to develop my voice and to open doors for me to play flute. One day I would love to be a part of a worship team in some way and would love music to be a part of my ministry... the Lord is so faithful to answering prayers. He is slowly developing my voice--not that I'm any Celine Dion but my voice is definitely coming around--and it's all Him! This summer the Lord has been opening doors for me to play flute... auditions were being held for the worship band. After a speech delivered very persuasively about wanting even the flute players to audition (I know God spoke to me directly), I signed up for a time. I grabbed my flute after work and headed over to the audition room. The night air blew a peace over me that I had never had approaching an audition. It was the Lord's peace--no other explanation. Upon arriving, I had nothing prepared; all I knew is that the Lord told me to go, so I did. By God's grace, I was asked to be a part of the team--the following Thrusday proved to be a monumental moment for me as I faced one of my biggest fears: performing. I played there in from of all the LTers with a guitar and piano. The harmony and the smoothness of it amazed me. I soon became lost in the music and forgot what I was doing other than being a part of the music. I suppose that's how it should be. A year ago I probably would have passed out if I would have tried something like that--this is how I know the Lord is helping me overcome fear and to trust in Him. He's been speaking the truth to me about my "Audience of One" and He's helping me to overcome my ardent desire for approval. I stand before Him alone. ...I am excited to see where he leads me in music. There are some other people whom I have met this summer that want to play their guitar with me and my flute. By God's grace, I will have the opportuntiy to do so. There is one guy who is majoring in music and plays classical guitar; he has a guitar and flute piece that we want to play. Lord, thank you for opening doors for me!
Approval and Fear are my two biggest obstacles hindering my walk with Christ. He has revealed this to me through a teaching from John Drage. Funny thing, He's addressing both of these areas of my life this summer...He is so good.
Coming into LT, I was very apprehensive about being in a Project with people I did not know. Two weeks in and I would not change a thing. I absolutely love that I am with people who do not put me in a box because of who they think I am. Here I am able to expand and grow in ways that I could not grow back home because of preconceived ideas that people had about me. I feel like I am able to really reach out in ways that maybe I would not test back home--especially in areas of leadership.
I'm becoming quite the coon as Chrissy would say, as I just don't give a dang. I'm beginning to give up my great desire to find approval from others...I'm able to just be myself--finding my identity in Christ. This has been a main focus in our project and it's been so refreshing.
As a Lifegroup leader I am being very challenged as Iam able to pour into women and help to lead them,encourage them, hear their hearts, and go to greatdepths with them. Being vulnerable with them is key asa leader must be vulnerable if anyone else is to bevulnerable. I love to see how God orchestrates things soperfectly. I planned to speak on the Audience of Onefor a devotional time that I was asked to share andthat night after I shared, John spoke about some ofthe exact things God has placed on my heart to share.Not only that, but the next week I decided to sharesome verses and stuff about identity in Christ. Well,for saturday service John shared about identity inChrist! Then I decided for next week that we'd shareour testimonies...On Tuesday John spoke about theimportance of knowing our testimonies...God works itall out to a T. Then, this Tuesday Clint shared adevotional with us and that night our speaker used theexact verses that Clint had talked to us about...
It's hard for me to understand those who do not like to laugh. I believe that so much freedom comes when you are able to be joyful and laugh about life.
The other day I was thinking: what a dumb disclaimer we make so often, "I'm gonna go do [fill in the blank] really fast." That "really fast" tag at the end seems to represent the hastiness of our culture and the impatience we have. There'd be no need to say that if there wasn't a fear of inconveniencing someone who is obviously not patient enough to wait for you to do something "really quick." I suppose I've been thinking about the impatience of our culture a lot since I've been back from Mexico. O how I do miss their time schedule.
Today I prayer walked with Kim, met with Sharon (an older woman) and drew with oil pastels and charcoal pencils (so liberating), and spent some time alone with the Lord. I find it very difficult to guard my alone time with the Lord here as there is always something to do. There is no time more precious to me than when it's just you and me, Lord.
There is so much more, but time is limited. Know that God is moving mightily and is transforming lives.
Hands by Jewel
//If I could tell the world just one thing It would be that we're all ok And not to worry because worry is wasteful and useless in times like these I will not be made useless I won't be idled with despair I will gather myself around my faith for light does the darkness most fear My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken Poverty stole your golden shoes but it didn't steal your laughter And heartache came to visit me but i knew it wasn't ever after We will fight, not out of spite for someone must stand up for what's right cause where there's a man who has no voice there ours shall go singing In the end only kindness matters In the end only kindness matters I will get down on my knees and I will pray I will get down on my knees and I will pray I will get down on my knees and I will pray My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken My hands are small, i know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken We are never broken We are God's eyes God's hands God's mind We are God's eyes God's hands God's heart We are God's eyes God's hands God's eyes God's hands We are God's hands God's hands We are God's hands//
This song reminded of how I am God's instrument andthat He is always there with me as I go about my day,I only have to remember Him and call upon Him. So manytimes we get caught up in the little things or maybethey're even significant, but eternally they reallydon't compare. God reminds me daily to have an eternalperspective. The past week I have struggled with gluttony as I amworking in food service. God reminded me of theamazing freedom I have in Christ. This past semesterHe has taught me so much about self-control and havingfreedom in the Spirit. It is for freedom he has cometo set us free...this I have experienced and know.It's the paradox...giving up your desires and all thatthe flesh cries out for, but then rendering it to thecontrol of the Holy Spirit. I am no longer controlledby these ceaseless temptations and sin which onlydarken my heart, but am free to be led by the HolySpirit.
Going hiking out here is absolutely beautiful andliberating--tomorrow I am setting out at 5:30am withmy friend Chelsy...we're going on a hike before work.God has painted such a sight..He is the artist. There is so much more, but time is limited. Know thatGod is moving mightily and is transforming lives.
The silhouetted mountains take me away, the darkness with a glow shimmering through the smokey sky. Snow peaks...the mysterious stream trickling down, down, down. The silence of the night...the wind comes through to cast a clearing for the brilliant stars. Away from city lights and traffic, away from cell phones and the cares of life back home--there is a freedom here like no other.
If my cell phone weren't my only means of communication with certain people, I might actually consider giving it up for this coming school year--it has been so freeing not being bound to the ring of the cell phone. Hallelujah. I realize the amazing ability we have for communication in this present day and age, but at times it can become a burden. Being here where I really have no choice but to not have cell phone service, I realize how freeing it is. 'Tis a season.
Three pairs of gloves for the dish room, hair tied back, sore feet, persperation, dish back, trash and tray, line, beverage, Pine Room, Bakery, Pondo, Reusch, Walnut, black shoes, black pants, aprons poorly washed--once black but now brown-- cutting fruit, dirty work, cleaning walls for days we're over-staffed, music in the dish room (priceless, as it's a cd with four songs that plays for eight hours, no kidding)...not to mention the internationals who are amazing and hilarious: Caline, Swithin, Natalia, Sweet, Ricki, Meet, Tayo, Danna, Olga, Amanda...
God's Favor: I've been working in Food Service and one of the days I was pulled to help out with the fancy Pine Room. The next day Susan, our boss, called me in to talk. Candy,who is head of the Pine Room, wanted me to join the crew working in Pine. I let them know I appreciated the offer but would not be able to accept because waitressing hurt my wrists too much [with on-set carpal tunnel]. About 20 minutes later Candy came back to talk with me, proposing something else: she wanted me to be a supervisor for the Pine Room. What?! I had only worked there one day! The job would give me a pay increase of $50 more a week which would give me about $450 more by the end of the summer! God completely gave me favor with the staff here; it was nothing that I did! He is slowly providing for me! It reminded me of Esther in the Bible.
God's brought me back to the fruit of joy: once again he is showing me another aspect of joy... to find joy in Him alone and not in people. He had commanded me to be joyful, "Dyanne choose to be joyful," he spoke to me in the Fall. Then the spring came and He placed people around me who poured out their joyful spirit as I was revived and allowed the fruit of joy to expand in my heart. Now, He's pulled me away from people who maybe I was finding joy in--falsly. My source of joy must come from Him. Being placed in Hague as one of five LTers caused me to struggle a little at the beginning as everyone else was either in Hallates or Howard. Slowly I have seen my need to be in Hague--God has it all worked out. Now, two weeks into work He pulls me out of the Reusch where all of the other LTers in Food Service work and has placed me in the Pine Room. This has been very challenging for me as I will have all PM shifts, my free day will be Monday when most LTers either work or have Project day, and I am working the cash register as the supervisor--the last job I wanted to do as I've been a cashier for the past three years. However, God is helping me to find joy in such things. Reading in Celebration of Discipline, Foster states that "joy is the keynote of all the disciplines."
Contentment, I have found, comes when you are able to have joy in the moment and season God has given you. Being in the spirit and having a garment of praise--even when the situation is not necessarily the most favorable. Choosing to NOT dwell on the past or worry about the future but to embrace the very moment God has granted you. A huge aspect of contentment is walking the Spirit--living in God's presence all the time. Conversing with Him daily and being in relationship with Him.
In the Pine Room I have more time to pray, to talk with customers, to reach out to a different crowd, and to grow in my leadership skills. As a supervisor I am challenged to delegate and foresee what needs to be done. In the past, I have typically not been very good at such a task--management and delegating is usually the last job I'd like to take on. God's funny and He knows what He's doing. The good news is that delegating can be an aquired skill. I realize that as a teacher and probably a multitude of other things, I will need to be skilled in delegating. Praise you, Lord, for challenging me and extending much grace!
God's been opening doors: Music is something that I hold dear to my heart and desire to be a part of, always. I have been praying for about a year now for the Lord to develop my voice and to open doors for me to play flute. One day I would love to be a part of a worship team in some way and would love music to be a part of my ministry... the Lord is so faithful to answering prayers. He is slowly developing my voice--not that I'm any Celine Dion but my voice is definitely coming around--and it's all Him! This summer the Lord has been opening doors for me to play flute... auditions were being held for the worship band. After a speech delivered very persuasively about wanting even the flute players to audition (I know God spoke to me directly), I signed up for a time. I grabbed my flute after work and headed over to the audition room. The night air blew a peace over me that I had never had approaching an audition. It was the Lord's peace--no other explanation. Upon arriving, I had nothing prepared; all I knew is that the Lord told me to go, so I did. By God's grace, I was asked to be a part of the team--the following Thrusday proved to be a monumental moment for me as I faced one of my biggest fears: performing. I played there in from of all the LTers with a guitar and piano. The harmony and the smoothness of it amazed me. I soon became lost in the music and forgot what I was doing other than being a part of the music. I suppose that's how it should be. A year ago I probably would have passed out if I would have tried something like that--this is how I know the Lord is helping me overcome fear and to trust in Him. He's been speaking the truth to me about my "Audience of One" and He's helping me to overcome my ardent desire for approval. I stand before Him alone. ...I am excited to see where he leads me in music. There are some other people whom I have met this summer that want to play their guitar with me and my flute. By God's grace, I will have the opportuntiy to do so. There is one guy who is majoring in music and plays classical guitar; he has a guitar and flute piece that we want to play. Lord, thank you for opening doors for me!
Approval and Fear are my two biggest obstacles hindering my walk with Christ. He has revealed this to me through a teaching from John Drage. Funny thing, He's addressing both of these areas of my life this summer...He is so good.
Coming into LT, I was very apprehensive about being in a Project with people I did not know. Two weeks in and I would not change a thing. I absolutely love that I am with people who do not put me in a box because of who they think I am. Here I am able to expand and grow in ways that I could not grow back home because of preconceived ideas that people had about me. I feel like I am able to really reach out in ways that maybe I would not test back home--especially in areas of leadership.
I'm becoming quite the coon as Chrissy would say, as I just don't give a dang. I'm beginning to give up my great desire to find approval from others...I'm able to just be myself--finding my identity in Christ. This has been a main focus in our project and it's been so refreshing.
As a Lifegroup leader I am being very challenged as Iam able to pour into women and help to lead them,encourage them, hear their hearts, and go to greatdepths with them. Being vulnerable with them is key asa leader must be vulnerable if anyone else is to bevulnerable. I love to see how God orchestrates things soperfectly. I planned to speak on the Audience of Onefor a devotional time that I was asked to share andthat night after I shared, John spoke about some ofthe exact things God has placed on my heart to share.Not only that, but the next week I decided to sharesome verses and stuff about identity in Christ. Well,for saturday service John shared about identity inChrist! Then I decided for next week that we'd shareour testimonies...On Tuesday John spoke about theimportance of knowing our testimonies...God works itall out to a T. Then, this Tuesday Clint shared adevotional with us and that night our speaker used theexact verses that Clint had talked to us about...
It's hard for me to understand those who do not like to laugh. I believe that so much freedom comes when you are able to be joyful and laugh about life.
The other day I was thinking: what a dumb disclaimer we make so often, "I'm gonna go do [fill in the blank] really fast." That "really fast" tag at the end seems to represent the hastiness of our culture and the impatience we have. There'd be no need to say that if there wasn't a fear of inconveniencing someone who is obviously not patient enough to wait for you to do something "really quick." I suppose I've been thinking about the impatience of our culture a lot since I've been back from Mexico. O how I do miss their time schedule.
Today I prayer walked with Kim, met with Sharon (an older woman) and drew with oil pastels and charcoal pencils (so liberating), and spent some time alone with the Lord. I find it very difficult to guard my alone time with the Lord here as there is always something to do. There is no time more precious to me than when it's just you and me, Lord.
There is so much more, but time is limited. Know that God is moving mightily and is transforming lives.
Hands by Jewel
//If I could tell the world just one thing It would be that we're all ok And not to worry because worry is wasteful and useless in times like these I will not be made useless I won't be idled with despair I will gather myself around my faith for light does the darkness most fear My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken Poverty stole your golden shoes but it didn't steal your laughter And heartache came to visit me but i knew it wasn't ever after We will fight, not out of spite for someone must stand up for what's right cause where there's a man who has no voice there ours shall go singing In the end only kindness matters In the end only kindness matters I will get down on my knees and I will pray I will get down on my knees and I will pray I will get down on my knees and I will pray My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken My hands are small, i know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken We are never broken We are God's eyes God's hands God's mind We are God's eyes God's hands God's heart We are God's eyes God's hands God's eyes God's hands We are God's hands God's hands We are God's hands//
This song reminded of how I am God's instrument andthat He is always there with me as I go about my day,I only have to remember Him and call upon Him. So manytimes we get caught up in the little things or maybethey're even significant, but eternally they reallydon't compare. God reminds me daily to have an eternalperspective. The past week I have struggled with gluttony as I amworking in food service. God reminded me of theamazing freedom I have in Christ. This past semesterHe has taught me so much about self-control and havingfreedom in the Spirit. It is for freedom he has cometo set us free...this I have experienced and know.It's the paradox...giving up your desires and all thatthe flesh cries out for, but then rendering it to thecontrol of the Holy Spirit. I am no longer controlledby these ceaseless temptations and sin which onlydarken my heart, but am free to be led by the HolySpirit.
Going hiking out here is absolutely beautiful andliberating--tomorrow I am setting out at 5:30am withmy friend Chelsy...we're going on a hike before work.God has painted such a sight..He is the artist. There is so much more, but time is limited. Know thatGod is moving mightily and is transforming lives.
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