God blows my mind, seriously. I have yet to speak of Mexico and wow did God move there.
The silhouetted mountains take me away, the darkness with a glow shimmering through the smokey sky. Snow peaks...the mysterious stream trickling down, down, down. The silence of the night...the wind comes through to cast a clearing for the brilliant stars. Away from city lights and traffic, away from cell phones and the cares of life back home--there is a freedom here like no other.
If my cell phone weren't my only means of communication with certain people, I might actually consider giving it up for this coming school year--it has been so freeing not being bound to the ring of the cell phone. Hallelujah. I realize the amazing ability we have for communication in this present day and age, but at times it can become a burden. Being here where I really have no choice but to not have cell phone service, I realize how freeing it is. 'Tis a season.
Three pairs of gloves for the dish room, hair tied back, sore feet, persperation, dish back, trash and tray, line, beverage, Pine Room, Bakery, Pondo, Reusch, Walnut, black shoes, black pants, aprons poorly washed--once black but now brown-- cutting fruit, dirty work, cleaning walls for days we're over-staffed, music in the dish room (priceless, as it's a cd with four songs that plays for eight hours, no kidding)...not to mention the internationals who are amazing and hilarious: Caline, Swithin, Natalia, Sweet, Ricki, Meet, Tayo, Danna, Olga, Amanda...
God's Favor: I've been working in Food Service and one of the days I was pulled to help out with the fancy Pine Room. The next day Susan, our boss, called me in to talk. Candy,who is head of the Pine Room, wanted me to join the crew working in Pine. I let them know I appreciated the offer but would not be able to accept because waitressing hurt my wrists too much [with on-set carpal tunnel]. About 20 minutes later Candy came back to talk with me, proposing something else: she wanted me to be a supervisor for the Pine Room. What?! I had only worked there one day! The job would give me a pay increase of $50 more a week which would give me about $450 more by the end of the summer! God completely gave me favor with the staff here; it was nothing that I did! He is slowly providing for me! It reminded me of Esther in the Bible.
God's brought me back to the fruit of joy: once again he is showing me another aspect of joy... to find joy in Him alone and not in people. He had commanded me to be joyful, "Dyanne choose to be joyful," he spoke to me in the Fall. Then the spring came and He placed people around me who poured out their joyful spirit as I was revived and allowed the fruit of joy to expand in my heart. Now, He's pulled me away from people who maybe I was finding joy in--falsly. My source of joy must come from Him. Being placed in Hague as one of five LTers caused me to struggle a little at the beginning as everyone else was either in Hallates or Howard. Slowly I have seen my need to be in Hague--God has it all worked out. Now, two weeks into work He pulls me out of the Reusch where all of the other LTers in Food Service work and has placed me in the Pine Room. This has been very challenging for me as I will have all PM shifts, my free day will be Monday when most LTers either work or have Project day, and I am working the cash register as the supervisor--the last job I wanted to do as I've been a cashier for the past three years. However, God is helping me to find joy in such things. Reading in Celebration of Discipline, Foster states that "joy is the keynote of all the disciplines."
Contentment, I have found, comes when you are able to have joy in the moment and season God has given you. Being in the spirit and having a garment of praise--even when the situation is not necessarily the most favorable. Choosing to NOT dwell on the past or worry about the future but to embrace the very moment God has granted you. A huge aspect of contentment is walking the Spirit--living in God's presence all the time. Conversing with Him daily and being in relationship with Him.
In the Pine Room I have more time to pray, to talk with customers, to reach out to a different crowd, and to grow in my leadership skills. As a supervisor I am challenged to delegate and foresee what needs to be done. In the past, I have typically not been very good at such a task--management and delegating is usually the last job I'd like to take on. God's funny and He knows what He's doing. The good news is that delegating can be an aquired skill. I realize that as a teacher and probably a multitude of other things, I will need to be skilled in delegating. Praise you, Lord, for challenging me and extending much grace!
God's been opening doors: Music is something that I hold dear to my heart and desire to be a part of, always. I have been praying for about a year now for the Lord to develop my voice and to open doors for me to play flute. One day I would love to be a part of a worship team in some way and would love music to be a part of my ministry... the Lord is so faithful to answering prayers. He is slowly developing my voice--not that I'm any Celine Dion but my voice is definitely coming around--and it's all Him! This summer the Lord has been opening doors for me to play flute... auditions were being held for the worship band. After a speech delivered very persuasively about wanting even the flute players to audition (I know God spoke to me directly), I signed up for a time. I grabbed my flute after work and headed over to the audition room. The night air blew a peace over me that I had never had approaching an audition. It was the Lord's peace--no other explanation. Upon arriving, I had nothing prepared; all I knew is that the Lord told me to go, so I did. By God's grace, I was asked to be a part of the team--the following Thrusday proved to be a monumental moment for me as I faced one of my biggest fears: performing. I played there in from of all the LTers with a guitar and piano. The harmony and the smoothness of it amazed me. I soon became lost in the music and forgot what I was doing other than being a part of the music. I suppose that's how it should be. A year ago I probably would have passed out if I would have tried something like that--this is how I know the Lord is helping me overcome fear and to trust in Him. He's been speaking the truth to me about my "Audience of One" and He's helping me to overcome my ardent desire for approval. I stand before Him alone. ...I am excited to see where he leads me in music. There are some other people whom I have met this summer that want to play their guitar with me and my flute. By God's grace, I will have the opportuntiy to do so. There is one guy who is majoring in music and plays classical guitar; he has a guitar and flute piece that we want to play. Lord, thank you for opening doors for me!
Approval and Fear are my two biggest obstacles hindering my walk with Christ. He has revealed this to me through a teaching from John Drage. Funny thing, He's addressing both of these areas of my life this summer...He is so good.
Coming into LT, I was very apprehensive about being in a Project with people I did not know. Two weeks in and I would not change a thing. I absolutely love that I am with people who do not put me in a box because of who they think I am. Here I am able to expand and grow in ways that I could not grow back home because of preconceived ideas that people had about me. I feel like I am able to really reach out in ways that maybe I would not test back home--especially in areas of leadership.
I'm becoming quite the coon as Chrissy would say, as I just don't give a dang. I'm beginning to give up my great desire to find approval from others...I'm able to just be myself--finding my identity in Christ. This has been a main focus in our project and it's been so refreshing.
As a Lifegroup leader I am being very challenged as Iam able to pour into women and help to lead them,encourage them, hear their hearts, and go to greatdepths with them. Being vulnerable with them is key asa leader must be vulnerable if anyone else is to bevulnerable. I love to see how God orchestrates things soperfectly. I planned to speak on the Audience of Onefor a devotional time that I was asked to share andthat night after I shared, John spoke about some ofthe exact things God has placed on my heart to share.Not only that, but the next week I decided to sharesome verses and stuff about identity in Christ. Well,for saturday service John shared about identity inChrist! Then I decided for next week that we'd shareour testimonies...On Tuesday John spoke about theimportance of knowing our testimonies...God works itall out to a T. Then, this Tuesday Clint shared adevotional with us and that night our speaker used theexact verses that Clint had talked to us about...
It's hard for me to understand those who do not like to laugh. I believe that so much freedom comes when you are able to be joyful and laugh about life.
The other day I was thinking: what a dumb disclaimer we make so often, "I'm gonna go do [fill in the blank] really fast." That "really fast" tag at the end seems to represent the hastiness of our culture and the impatience we have. There'd be no need to say that if there wasn't a fear of inconveniencing someone who is obviously not patient enough to wait for you to do something "really quick." I suppose I've been thinking about the impatience of our culture a lot since I've been back from Mexico. O how I do miss their time schedule.
Today I prayer walked with Kim, met with Sharon (an older woman) and drew with oil pastels and charcoal pencils (so liberating), and spent some time alone with the Lord. I find it very difficult to guard my alone time with the Lord here as there is always something to do. There is no time more precious to me than when it's just you and me, Lord.
There is so much more, but time is limited. Know that God is moving mightily and is transforming lives.
Hands by Jewel
//If I could tell the world just one thing It would be that we're all ok And not to worry because worry is wasteful and useless in times like these I will not be made useless I won't be idled with despair I will gather myself around my faith for light does the darkness most fear My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken Poverty stole your golden shoes but it didn't steal your laughter And heartache came to visit me but i knew it wasn't ever after We will fight, not out of spite for someone must stand up for what's right cause where there's a man who has no voice there ours shall go singing In the end only kindness matters In the end only kindness matters I will get down on my knees and I will pray I will get down on my knees and I will pray I will get down on my knees and I will pray My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken My hands are small, i know, but they're not yours they are my own but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken We are never broken We are God's eyes God's hands God's mind We are God's eyes God's hands God's heart We are God's eyes God's hands God's eyes God's hands We are God's hands God's hands We are God's hands//
This song reminded of how I am God's instrument andthat He is always there with me as I go about my day,I only have to remember Him and call upon Him. So manytimes we get caught up in the little things or maybethey're even significant, but eternally they reallydon't compare. God reminds me daily to have an eternalperspective. The past week I have struggled with gluttony as I amworking in food service. God reminded me of theamazing freedom I have in Christ. This past semesterHe has taught me so much about self-control and havingfreedom in the Spirit. It is for freedom he has cometo set us free...this I have experienced and know.It's the paradox...giving up your desires and all thatthe flesh cries out for, but then rendering it to thecontrol of the Holy Spirit. I am no longer controlledby these ceaseless temptations and sin which onlydarken my heart, but am free to be led by the HolySpirit.
Going hiking out here is absolutely beautiful andliberating--tomorrow I am setting out at 5:30am withmy friend Chelsy...we're going on a hike before work.God has painted such a sight..He is the artist. There is so much more, but time is limited. Know thatGod is moving mightily and is transforming lives.
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