I pulled up in the drive, put the car in park, and then realized what I was doing. Am I really going to get my nose pierced? The thought of that needle going through my nose... ugh..can't handle it. No. I will. After two years of toiling and going back and forth....should I get it or not?... I am doing it. Now is the window of opportunity. I held my breath and got out of the car.
I walked in, knowing that it was Happy Hour: any piercing for $20. Great, so they can stab you anywhere for a mild fee of only twenty bucks. Sounds great. Pick me! At least if I'm going to submit myself to some kind of pain I should do it when it's on sale. haha... Anything to do with needles usually acts as repellent and keeps me away. However, this time, I was purposefully subjecting myself to this act.
I've wanted it done for two years, but the first time I went in to have it done I got as far as signing the papers and then bailed. One, I felt like God was saying 'no.' Two, I had some fear of the needle...and three, I really didn't think it would work out being that I had to do observations at schools in the Fall. So I left.
Two years later, and I still want that little jewel in my nose. To me, it's more than just the trend. It's more that just aesthetic purposes, though I do enjoy the sparkle on my nose. As my friend Katie Brown put it, "It displays a part of my personality that is very important. I am a girl that wears pearls like Audrey Hepburn, but I am also somewhat of a hippie and that nose ring shows the free spirit/gypsy in me." (or something like that). When she said that one time, I thought, that's exactly how I feel!
Having it done, obviously, I had to face my fear of needles. Really, the only fear I want to have is that of a reverent fear of God. But, I'm human. So, I just face my fears I suppose, and ask God to come through. Thankfully, it did not hurt nearly as bad as I had imagined. In fact, I just kept my eyes closed and held my breath...there was a little prick, push, and then it was over. My right eye watered and the rest is history.
Since that day, the Lord has been speaking to me through it a lot. I am very visual and the Lord, often times, uses things on me or around me to remind me of simple but profound truths.
As I went throughout the week, the Lord began to reveal to me that this jewel had more than aesthetic purposes, for it was an outward expression of walking out my freedom in Christ rather than walking in the judgments of others.
Since the summer, He's been taking me through a season of growing in confidence in Him and finding my identity in Him alone. It's a beautiful and refining process, though it's very hard at times. This piercing is one more step in that direction. It reminds me of Hebrews 13:6 "So we may boldly say, 'The Lord is my helper. I will not fear, for what can man do to me?'"
Since I was a child, the judgments of others have always weighed very heavy on me, and honestly, have imprisoned me. The Lord is teaching me how to be free from that, and to see myself how He sees me. Sure, I'm not perfect, and there are times when the words of others are very important, but they should not completely dictate who I am. It is also a matter of pleasing the Lord and not man. When victim and subjected to every word or judgment of another man, it leaves little room to walk freely in the footsteps of Christ.
I know that having a nose ring, some people may judge me, especially in the field of education, but that is what I'm being set free from. I know teachers who have a nose ring and just put in a retainer during the day. I suppose if I end up in the school system, that's what I'll have to do.
I'm still learning how to walk out my freedom...as for piercings, I think I'll stop here. Maybe God can just give me a toe ring next time or something not involving a needle! haha
If I ever want to accomplish all that the Lord has for me, I must be set free! And if I am in the Son, then I am free indeed!
