Wednesday, June 10, 2009

book recommendation on marriage

In light of the fact that the number of my close friends (as well as acquaintances) who are married and getting married is beginning to exceed the number of my close friends who are still single, I decided to pick up a book called, The Mystery of Marriage, by Mark Mason. (a solid recommendation by David Grotheim...Thanks!) Hands down, this is the best book I've ever read on the topic of marriage. If you are considering reading a book on marriage, I highly recommend this book. Mason has such a way with words and such depth and insight.

No book has ever made me long for marriage more, nor has any book ever made me more sober minded about marriage and able to enjoy the season of singleness that I am currently living out.

Singleness is a gift. So is marriage. We mustn't regard one as better than the other. We must embrace the seasons that God has us in. In your singleness you learn to cling to HIM alone and to go deeper and deeper as you long for that companion.

I've asked several older married women about what I should take advantage of in my single years and the one thing they always tell me is: "your time with God".... "treasure it because you don't have to share that time with anyone right now...not a husband and not kids."

Pastor Ray always said, "Just when you think you can't die to yourself anymore, you get married. And then just when you think you can't die to yourself anymore you have children..."

Anyway, my point is, singleness may be hard at times, but the grass is always greener on the other side. We've got to learn how to be content no matter what side of the fence we are on... no matter the season God has us in.

Having a partner will not completely satisfy. Only God can. God could always take your partner in an instant and you'd have to know where your roots lie. They can't be in a person. They must be rooted in God. He is the only one who is unshakable.

So all you singles, enjoy the ride. Pursue God whole-heartedly and prepare yourselves for the next season.

Them's my 2 cents. I got more but I'll leave it at that.



http://www.amazon.com/Mystery-Marriage-Meditations-Miracle/dp/1576737799

a funny

Afternoon class with 9 year olds
``````````````````````````
```````````

Assignment: Write 3 questions about a marine animal that you would like to know more about.

//Sharing time//

Student: How can dolphins get married in the sea?

Me: Um, what did you say? Get married?

Student: How can dolphins get married in the sea? [with a very serious look... she was not trying to be funny...]

Me: Oh.... um, well, dolphins don't get married. Yah, they don't get married. Only people do.

Student: [with a very puzzled and sad look] Why? Then how do they have babies?

Me: Um...

Student: How do they have babies in the sea then? [cocking her head to the side with a most confused expression]

Me: Okay, what's your next question?

Saturday, June 06, 2009

more than tiny flowers


I write so many journal entries in my head but they never seem to make it to paper. Here's one I remembered after talking to my sister two nights ago. Short and sweet.
``````````````````````````
````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````

My sister, she could always find the tiniest flowers.

She never brought my mom big bouquets of flowers like I did-- no, she'd somehow find the smallest flower there was, pick it with her tiny hands and present it with a humble gesture of love. I can still see my mom's smile and hear my dad's little chuckle as he, too, disbelieved that she could manage to find such a small, lovely treasure.

It didn't matter where we were; we could be at the beach, in the desert, in the city or near a river and she'd somehow find a tiny flower. She has a gift for this sort of thing.

I remember being at Magnolia Beach one summer and she went off on her own for a while. I, of course, was probably being too loud and down by the water or doing something bold and daring. While my sister, she was always so delicate and sweet. She was dainty and would float along always being run over by her older sister. She was the little "Queen of the Lanterns" and I was "Dyanamite" as Dad called me.

Well, time passed and here she came with this grin on her face. A little angel offering a flower so small you had to squint to see it. It was one of those flowers that needed to be taped down in your journal, otherwise you'd never appreciate it's beauty as it'd be swept away by just about anything. She handed it to my Granny and looked up at her with those big green/blue eyes that so resemble Mom's.

I was always amazed by the intricate and strikingly beautiful flowers she would uncover as they seemed to be hidden away. My dad always said it was because she was closer to the ground than all of us. I think it's because she looked for them.

Besides little flowers, she also always managed to find heart-shaped rocks. This was another gift of her's. Anytime we went camping or to the beach, she'd stumble upon a rock that nevertheless resembled a heart. Growing up, I loved this about her. I don't think I appreciated her as I do today, but I always knew that she had something special. A gift to find beauty and share it with others.

This is something I have always tried to do, as well. I think it's something that our parents passed down to us. Whether it be dad taking us outside or mom writing poetry with us, we grew up with parents who had free spirits.

Beauty is something that I am always on the look-out for. And you know, I believe that I learned it from my four year old sister. Perhaps I had always hunted for beauty as well, but she taught me to look in the most unlikely places. She taught me to look even when no one else is looking. And, she taught me that you just have to look.

I see this in my walk with the Lord. He has all these treasures hidden, but they're not so hidden that we can't find them. All we have to do is look. He has more than just tiny flowers hidden away for us. It's time to go looking...

Proverbs 25:2
It is the glory of God to conceal a matter;
to search out a matter is the glory of kings.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

waiting for the rain

A storm's a-brewin' and the winds a-blowin'. I heard thunder for the first time since I've been in Korea (or so I can remember). Walking home tonight, the urge to rest under the security of a wooden deck like the one in Colorado at Pam's house or the one at the 'Y' suddenly came upon me. Low and behold, there she was. Her sanctuary of peace opened to the outdoors all the while shielding me from the droplets of rain that, unannounced, would fall from the sky sporadically.

Rustling trees sang a tune to me as my hand gently caressed the pen under the glow of a soft street light. Shadows danced in the wind and people passed with a quickness in hopes of returning home before the rain showered the land. I, however, rested. For once, I had stopped to remember the sound and smell of a storm.

My thoughts ventured to my days of living in Colorado where I had sat so many nights on that wooden porch at the Admin Building, watching the sun set behind the mountains, leaving a glow of silhouetted peaks. Fading away, the sun would be replaced by the porch lights. Elk drifted past, tending the lawn as they ate away. Chilled and fresh air filled my lungs with such refreshment.

Even now, I sat on that wooden porch, in the middle of Seoul. The air, not so clean, yet the rain brought a freshness. I have experienced God's rain in so many places... some in more beautiful surroundings but all the same, it brings delight and freshness to my soul.

The smell of the rain makes me think of my time when I first arrived in Korea. It's an earthy smell, washing away all the dirt and leaving the skies a bit cleaner and trails of yellow dust from the Gobi Desert.

Tonight I rested with the Lord as He stirred up the weather. I longed to be in the mountains or the hill country of Texas, but I reckoned that since God had me here I might as well embrace it and love it. I started to cherish the moment-- as one day I will reminisce about my time in Korea--even the big, tall buildings.

It's interesting how storms take on different character in different places. My memory of storms in Colorado, Texas, Florida, Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, and Korea are all so different. I love how the rain came so suddenly and timely in Florida-- 3pm everyday without skipping a beat. In Costa Rica it was very similar only the storms were not nearly as violent and dark as Florida unless they happened at night. I miss the lightening storms in Florida and Texas--especially in the hill country. The rain would linger but the sky would light up with dancing beams of light, bouncing between the clouds with the thunder echoing through the hills. In Houston the skies would turn green and the rain would come down in such heavy sheets that you could not see to drive. In Korea, the rain seems to come more silently, with a heavy atmosphere and big drops of water that wash away the dirt in the city. The sky darkens a little but the rain does not usually stop daily life as it does in Houston sometimes. Instead, rivers of umbrellas wind through the sidewalks and streets of Seoul. In Texas, at times I'd have to hold my umbrella in front of me because the wind blew so hard the rain came straight at you rather than over you. Here, the rain gently rolls in, maybe for a few hours or maybe for a few days and then dries up with the sun and a cleaner sky. Nothing too dramatic. In a land of extremes, I'd expect more intense thunderstorms, but I have yet to experience them in the land of Korea. There is not ever really a 'thunder' storm.

I looked up to see the stars, half forgetting that I was in the city. I dismissed the idea of stars before I finished looking up. Instead, I enjoyed the moment. ...for this too shall pass and a new season will arrive, leaving only memories of my time in Korea.

Though I miss the outdoors and lush greenery, I am somehow trying to learn to like living in the city. I am forced to search out beauty... it's here; I just have to look harder. (but I won't lie, I'll be happy when God takes me to a more lush environment! ^^ ...as someone put it, Korea is a place where character is grown... so the 'garden of character' to grow the fruit of the spirit... a season to be pruned and refined... )

Today my school visited a farm to let the children see their cabbage they planted a few weeks ago. It was so wonderful. When I was a kid I used to garden in my backyard... as I've gotten older time has not allowed for such outlets. I envied the old women tending the garden and thought of how great it'd be to work in a garden like this--even if it was just for a hobby! I wonder how much it costs to have some of the community land for farming. I think that it'd be so fun to have some land in the city to garden... fresh veggies! mmm...

I actually found some dirt the other day in a pot that was being thrown out. I have been wanting to replant my mint and rosemary as it's growing like crazy. I carried the pot home and hope to replant them soon! Only, my apartment doesn't get very much sunlight (a little depressing), and my last rosemary plant died, so I might have to keep it at school and wait to replant it when I move.

So, the rain still hasn't come, but I am enjoying the cool breeze in my room!

Maybe it'll be one of those mornings where it's raining and I just want to sleep in or read a book. Those are my favorite, IF, and only IF it's on a day I don't have work. haha

so, G'Night! I must get some rest now lest I have to wake in the morn to a gentle rain that sings me a lullaby!

like a child

As my feet hit the ground in a steady rhythm, the distance between us became shorter. His clapping hands and state of bliss in a world, that in many ways, remained out of his consciousness seemed to speak volumes to me. I wondered when it is that we lose our ability to not care what others think. For me, I can remember being self-conscious in Kindergarten. A shame, really. For others, the later elementary years or even as late as their teens. I admired how this child, maybe eight or nine, just enjoyed his own hand clapping and not a thing in the world was about to make him self-conscious about it.

I smiled as I passed and pondered what it would take for me to enter into that kind of carefree walk once again. I suppose that any step I take outside of feeling self-conscious is a breakthrough for me (and many others I presume). It's funny because we tend to live in this fear of man's judgment (some more than others), rather than embracing who we are and enjoying our own oddities and unique ways that we're wired. I have become more free in the last few years, but I know that I have a long way to go if I desire to have the freedom of a child in the way that a child lives outside the thoughts of man.

The Father calls us to be childlike.

Mark 10:15 I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

Matthew 18:4 Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

While we are called to grow up, eat meat rather than spiritual milk, and serve others, we are still called to like children in our walk with God. Once again, a paradox that we must dive into.

We are to be wise, mature, servants, etc, but we are to have faith like a child-- that we could crawl up in our Daddy's lap and know that He is good.... to know that He gives us good gifts when we ask. This childlike awareness and love of God brings down the Kingdom.

There was a time for all of us that we did not care what others thought. I see the kids that I teach and can easily see this as they do all sorts of things, not caring one bit who sees or what someone thinks. At one time, we freely gave what we had to offer our parents-- though it was nothing really-- save a gesture of love, which is something far greater than words can express. In the same way, we have nothing to offer God except our lives and love. This outside of Jesus is nothing, but because of Him, it is a most beautiful thing-- especially as we do so with the heart of a child.

Many times, our walk with the Lord is hindered by our own thoughts and self-absorption. We must look to HIM and see Him as a child does. You tell a child that he can pray for healing and he believes it. You tell an adult and he becomes offended or in a state of mockery. Why have our hearts hardened in such a way that we don't allow the miraculous? I have seen miracles and I know that God is alive and powerful. He is the healer. He is moving in power today. I've seen too much to deny it. However, I am also pleading for the Lord to give me a childlike faith and heart that I might live in the miraculous every day (with awareness). We so easily weave between the faith of a child and the stone heart of a jaded adult. Lord, may we not harden our heart to You! May we believe you for great things! Greater things still...

As I passed, I made eye contact with him. He did not even hesitate or become embarrassed for a second. He kept on smiling and clapping as I ran past. Little did he know that his bliss had spoken deeply to me.

May we walk with this kind of freedom. May we not walk in the fear of man, nor the self-absorption of what others think of us. Rather, may our eyes be fixed on Jesus, walking forward in our faith, ready to run freely like a child and all the while, leading and serving as adults.

May we step out in faith...bringing the Kingdom with us...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saEC5g2TDgA