present-future

i found this quote as a draft from about a year ago...i never finished it or expounded on it.

i needed to read this quote again. of course, it's graham. i love his stuff.

"When God sees you in the future, He begins the process of relating to you now according to how He sees you in the future. ...God links the revelation He's giving you now to the personality He sees you becoming in the future. That's why it's so important that we produce a people that are present-future in their whole persona." --Graham Cooke

it's funny how God's timing works. now that it's been about a year and i've almost finished up my year contract, shy of a few months, i can look back and see how God has been relating to me in so many different and new ways. this has, by far, been a challenging but amazing year of growth and learning. i think that any time the Lord starts to relate to you in a different way it can be hard. i've been feeling around for the ground and not finding it. the sure-footedness (is that even a word?) that i had with the Lord before coming here suddenly became slippery as i stepped into a new season. it seems that he always does that so we may never become comfortable at our current place, spiritually. this uneasiness and slippery slope we are climbing causes us to lean into God even more. we must, or else we may fall. and the higher we go the further down the fall can be. thankfully we have a God of grace!

going deeper always comes with a cost. and it is a cost that we must count (as p. christian preached about this past Sunday). i am finding more and more that this cost will most certainly be painful, but when you do count the stars, it is so worth it. we must constantly remind ourselves of that, otherwise the dreams and visions that God has placed in our hearts can easily be overshadowed by fear.

as i have been praying for a greater vision, i find that fear has been at its utmost. fear of inadequacy. fear of failure. fear of not having the emotional stability for what God might call me to. fear of not hearing the correct call. etc. etc.

i must put these fears aside and refocus my eyes on Jesus. easier said than done. i have to enter that place of peace and rest, for that is where i will behold HIS promises. that is where I will hear HIM. that is where I will inherit all that He has for me. that is where I will be a blessing to others. in that secret place. in that place of rest and absolute contentment in the Lord.

processing all of this has been difficult and, even so, I am finding the whole of it a beautiful experience for me.

o, how He is worthy of trust. o, how He is worthy of confidence.

where else shall my confidence lie but in HIM? whenever i have fear or doubt i know that i have lost my ultimate trust in HIM. after all He has done for me, I wonder how I can so easily lose that trust. i must constantly go back to the cross. the origins of my salvation and new life. the origins of all the good that could ever come into me and through me. the origins of my freedom and a love that seems to seep through to your very DNA.

a season of flourishing coupled with isolation and yet not a desert. it has been the most interesting year of my walk with the Lord, by far. interesting in the sense that i was not on the threshing floor or in a comfortable place. interesting in the fact that in spite of the isolation God has had me flourish. a paradox of sorts. only he could conjure up.

i know that God has placed certain desires in my heart for a reason. shall i squander them out of fear? by His grace, I will not.

but am I willing to count the cost? this is the question that we must all face. it is neither comfortable or inviting. rather, it puts us in a place of stand still. a place where we must choose. a place where we must faithfully obey. faithfully march on. it tests our very being. it purges the realities of our heart. it gropes us in a way that we cannot bear unless we man-up and face it full force. it is not always pretty, but in the distance, the backdrop of stars we can neither count nor even fully imagine await us. hope.

better than hope. a promise. a promise from the best keeper of promises: the Lord Himself.

so, as graham says, we must be present-future people. march on in the identity that God is calling you to. march on in the call that He has summoned you to.

Selah.