There was so much leading up to the conference…for example, I had been considering going to a conference and was looking for one to attend this semester when Kara came up to me in church several days later and said, “Dyanne, I have to talk to you. I was praying about who I was supposed to invite to this conference and I had a dream about you last night. God showed me that I was supposed to invite you.” That is just one of the many ways of how God orchestrated everything…so, with no further ado:
I realized today that I have a hard time seeing the Lord as my King and truly having reverence for Him—it’s very interesting to think that this might partly be due to the fact that I have grown up in a culture where there is no King and the idea of bowing down to another is unthinkable! There is no one over me who tells me what to do and has the power to say “off with her head!” Yet, I do—being in the Kingdom I am under the Kingship of my Lord Jesus Christ! God is a God of order and authority. I am under my Pastor, my Homegroup Servant, and one day my husband. Somehow, this culture has wired me to miss that very Lordship part to some degree. Our culture is all about individuals, independence, freedom, will-power, self, etc. The very idea of bowing before a King does not penetrate my heart as it should. Having reverence for my King has been a slow process of unfolding the truth about who God is and who I am.
This past weekend I feel as though God did give me some revelation in my heart as to how I must have reverence for Him, as He is a God much bigger than I can even imagine—there is NO way to contain Him! There are innumerous things about Him that remain unsearchable and He is vast beyond belief!
Wrestling with doubt and unbelief, things that my mind can’t understand, preconceived ideas, God-in-a-box syndrome, etc….God is revealing a side of Himself that frightens me to the core! A God who is powerful, all-knowing, performs miracles, gives gifts of the Spirit, is HOLY, all powerful… The same God of the Old Testament is the God now and the God to come—they are one—the same!!! Somehow we forget this truth. Why do we doubt that He can move mightily today? I am beginning to see and know this God who has for so long been marginalized and reduced by man’s mind. We cannot even begin to understand the depths of God! Only the Spirit can help us to understand the mysteries of God.
This past weekend He demonstrated His power, as I witnessed the deaf hear again and those with pain in their bodies feel no more pain. I cannot explain it other than it was the power of Jesus Christ. This put me on my knees—what a God we have!
He took me on a journey from doubt to fear to acceptance of a God much bigger than I ever imagined! Truly, such a transformation is only by the Holy Spirit.
A word was spoken over me that truly resonated in me… “Your mission field is closer than you think…Though God knows you have a heart for going overseas, He has a lot of work for you to do here.” I know that this word is from God because 1.) this guy did not know me at all yet spoke something very dear to my heart: going overseas 2.) this was a very spirit filled man 3.) it confirmed everything that I have felt the Lord doing in my life over the past 6-8 months, as I have pulled out of missions mentoring and have been more led to study up on counseling and pursue further schooling. God has even given me more of a heart for Americans and I have felt like I will be in the States for a short time. I think I'll be here for a few more years at least. Then I hope to go overseas. Acts 1:4...wait for the gift of the Holy Spirit to come before being sent out... I know that I am to wait and then move forward.
God had given me 3 things and they all showed up this past weekend at the conference:
Isaiah 61, Luke 11:11-13, the song “We are Hungry”
Before the conference Is. 61 came up 3 times and then was spoken out during one of the sermons…God really desires for me to realize His healing power, and the ability to set the captives free, while He desires me to follow Him and help heal others and set others free…
Isaiah 61:1-2a "The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me,
because the LORD has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor "
“We are Hungry” ended up being sung 3 times before the conference in non-related times and it sure did seem to be a theme as we were all so hungry and thirsty for Jesus.
Psalm 24: 7 Lift up your heads, O you gates;
be lifted up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
8 Who is this King of glory?
The LORD strong and mighty,
the LORD mighty in battle.
9 Lift up your heads, O you gates;
lift them up, you ancient doors,
that the King of glory may come in.
10 Who is he, this King of glory?
The LORD Almighty—
he is the King of glory.
Selah
From one of the sermons: In reference to this passage (Ps. 24), God was showing me that we are the gates. Jesus is the door. We are the gates and we can have our gates opened a little and experience the Spirit a little or we can open them wide and allow heaven to flow out of us by the Holy Spirit. When we open our gates and doors of faith, then God can move even more, thus bringing people to the Door (Jesus). Also, in reference to “lift up your heads” in Genesis 40:13 “ Within three days Pharaoh will lift up your head and restore you to your position, and you will put Pharaoh's cup in his hand, just as you used to do when you were his cupbearer.” The meaning of the idiom “Lift up one’s head” means “released” in Hebrew in the context of freeing a prisoner. Thus, God is telling us to be freed and open our gates wide so that the King may enter in! Selah!
Faith = Expectation + Risk
Risk is what always gets me…usually my mind gets in the way or pride or doubt…God really ministered to my heart this past weekend as He was showing me how I must not try to only understand Him with my mind but to allow the Spirit to reveal things that only the heart understands.
God spoke tenderly to my heart, helping me realize that He desires me to come to Him and ask Him of things…He revealed to me that I carry over such feelings of shame/guilt, unworthiness to ask God for something, and the thoughts that He would not want to answer my prayers due to negative experiences that I’ve had in the past with people in my life who have responded poorly to my need to come to them for help. He specifically told me, “I am not those people. I am your Father—the Father. I desire you to come to me. I am your God of unlimited resources.” This goes back to a verse that He had given me a few weeks ago:
Luke 11:11-13 "Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"
He will not give me anything evil when I ask and in fact He will give me so much more! He desires to pour out His spirit and have me come to Him for everything.
Matthew, Kara’s brother, told us that we were like the 10 virgins from the parable, as we were the 5 wise ones filling our lamps with oil (funny—there were five girls):
Matthew 25:1-13 "At that time the kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps. The bridegroom was a long time in coming, and they all became drowsy and fell asleep. “At
I realized that one reason we feel so oppressed at times is because we are not worshipping in the way that God has created us to express ourselves. We are all made to express ourselves differently: some paint, some dance, some sit, some jump, some stand still, some kneel, some sing, some hum, some whistle, some yell, some clap, some write, some play music, …the list is endless…
I was talking with Donna about how there is so much power in the act of worshipping through dance. Other cultures and religions have discovered this truth as Native Americans have danced for rain, certain tribes dance to their gods and the spirit world…they have realized how dancing taps into the spiritual---so why have we, believers in Christ, not embraced this truth. There is power in dance and such aspects of art. Why have we let Satan take ground in this realm? We need to claim the arts once again for God! Satan only mimics the things that hold power and substance... he counterfeits truth. God has made us to be very expressive people! There needs to be freedom in worship—an atmosphere that welcomes such expression. Not everyone is a dancer but to have an atmosphere that openly welcomes expressive worship is glorifying to God in ways we don’t know!
God’s been showing me how important unity is to Him and to the release of His power and glory. He desires His people to be united and until there is unity there will not be revival! My soul longs for revival to come! This would explain why satan so often attacks in ways that cause disunity— and especially starting from the leadership.
“I’ll give you rain,” God says.
Simile that I particularly liked:
There is a mirror and behind it is a beautiful painting. All you can see is your reflection until the mirror is smashed. // The text of the Bible is like the mirror as it is merely text looking up at you. The Spirit and the word interpreted by the Spirit is the painting. Until the mirror is smashed the painting will not be revealed; therefore, we must have a smashing of the mirror experience (probably pride/mind/doubt/unbelief) before we can allow the Spirit to really move and reveal things to us. God wants complete control and deserves complete control, so if you are trying to remain in control then He will back off and you will quench the Spirit.
We should pray “Your Kingdom come on earth as it is in Heaven” with expectation and risk! His Kingdom is here, we need only allow it to be revealed to us!
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